this is it. life starts seriously. NOW.

HAHA. i'll never be serious though. i play too much. and that's my problem.

i regret not doing alot of things. It should be in mockingbird, where it says something along the lines of when people have the ability to change something, they have the responsibility to do it.

God has given me alot of talents, alot of good relationships with people, where i have a say in things, and i can actually influence other people. when you say something and people listen to you, that's something very good already. being salt and light is not just about telling others about christ. As i get to know God more and more, i understand how important prayer is, and especially reading His word. Now as i look back i should and could have done so much more in primary sch.

When i listen to adlin go on and on about jay, (haha) i wonder why can't i talk about God like that. I love God too. When people love someone, they are bound to talk on and on about that person. Why am i shy to tell others about my very best friend when others can list things about those they love ceaselessly?

when i did the class forum for sec twos yesterday, i was taken aback when they considered talking bad about others on blogs is not considered bullying. i was shocked, really. like mrs kwok said, the generations have changed, and many of us are having our values shaped by what we see on tv, the music we listen to. now, the world tells us to take care of ourselves. us first, others second. but God tells us to do the exact opposite. He did not come here to be served, but to serve. This is the exact mentality of the world that God tells us not to follow. I have nothing against any of my friends, or any of the people i have met yesterday. instead, i love them, and i wish to see them become better people. for me, i think it's pointless to hate or to hold grudges. there may be people i don't get along with, but that doesn't mean that i have a reason to pin their faces on a dart board and throw colourful pointy things. because He told me to love, i will. to all those that think i am blindly following whatever my God says to me; i think if someone died for me, i owe that person loads. imagine how much i owe God. i pinned Him to that cross. listening and following is the least i can do.

American idol is on. I always wanted to be singing on a huge stage, having millions of people cheer me on. but now, this just reminds me that all these are so superficial. you want statistics, i'll give you statistics. ONE of out ONE die. 100%. and when we are no longer part of the world, it really won't matter how many people have cheered us on, or have loved us. everybody knows this. some people work hard to achieve what they want, some think it's pointless since we're going to die anyway. I admire those that work hard, because they are giving their best for things. Those that are lazy, well, are really wasting thier lives away. but one thing's for certain, no matter how much effort you have put into living your life out, alot or none at all, you'll die one day. But i'm not living for a lost cause. i'm not. i'm definitely not. i'm not living for the treasures of this world. i'm not living for my parents. i'm not living for other people. i'm not even living for my future husband. i'm living for my God. i don't want anything to change that. and i know that nothing will, cause he has promised He will be with me till the very end.

If you have read until here, you might think i'm nuts. that i should be locked in an asylum and left there for my own good. haha. maybe i should. but one thing i know for sure, is that people were made for good relationships, that we are here to go through life, to get to know everyone else, and most importantly know God. Only then will life make sense.

no one forced me, and i'm glad.

love ya,
Elza.